Mothertruckers

Earnings potential: Well over $1,000 per day (if you are in the right area)

Time investment:Creeping around parking spots

Useful for: Those willing to sacrifice their dignity, scumbags, high school dropouts, antisocial individuals

Stained wifebeaters. Thick gobs of chewing tobacco spit. A mean and porcine glare with periodic unintelligible grunts. No, this isn't the cast of Deliverance - this is your local tow trucking crew.

Look at this slob

  Tow trucking is actually a highly lucrative industry. Too bad that the average tow trucker spends his lucrative earnings on cheap beer, meth, and second-hand hookers. How does this scumbag industry work? Usually, tow truckers rent their trucks out from local towing companies. They then roam around high-traffic parking areas and look for cars that are violating the slightest parking codes, hitch them up to their truck, and drag them off to their dark lairs. 

 Now, it's not all that simple. Tow truckers working on a salary basis are actually often very lowly paid. We're talking around $12.50 an hour for a job that makes no one want to be your friend. The money is in commission towing. Near busy areas. In college towns. And you only accept cash. 

That right there is the ultimate sleaze ball formula to rake in cash every day while masquerading as a low-income schmuck.  Truckers operating on commission act as judge, jury, and executioner on college students who don't have enough parking spaces in the first place.  Of course, this combination of off-the-books income, low-life behavior, and affinity for the dark alleyways at night make towing companies an easy target for mobsters who know which scumbags they can squeeze. With an average tow costing around $140 dollars, a tow trucker who only gets around a 30% commission rate is clearing at least 30 dollars per car after costs. In a busy college town, a tow trucker near major drinking and residential areas can clear in three to four cars an hour, especially with the shady practice of towing spotters.

So what are you waiting for, get out and....uh, actually... don't do this.

Freddy